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TEACHER PSYCHOLOGY ANALYSED
We get an expert's opinion on teacher's psychological methods
Thursday 28 June 2001
Teachers. To some they are friendly people who help them learn interesting and useful facts, to others
they are the spawn of satan who's sole purpose on earth in to make their life a living hell. Whichever
one is true, The Unofficial Bundy High Newsletter with the help of psychologist Dr. Ernest
Von Kauffmann has discovered just how skilled teachers are at manipulating their students with a
variety of different psychological methods. We invited Dr. Von Kauffmann into our school to observe
Bundy High teachers in action and to tell us exactly what they are trying to achieve. The first place
which we took Dr. Von Kauffmann was the parade ground.
PARADE
After taking Dr. Von Kauffmann to the year 11/12 parade, he seemed very interested at the variety of
methods employed by various staff. "Some teachers try to ridicule the students by singling them out
of the group and attempting to make them look, how do you say it...foolish. Others try to 'psych' out
the pupils by staring continuously at the students until their behaviour improves." said the
psychologist. However the technique that was the most interesting for both The Unofficial Bundy
High Newsletter staff and Dr. Von Kauffmann is the conversation technique, as he described it.
Here is an actual transcription of a 'conversation' between Mrs. Roffey and Mrs. Wallwork:
| Mrs. Roffey: |
This behaviour really is appalling isn't it Mrs. Wallwork. |
| Mrs. Wallwork: |
Yes it certainly is. They are acting like a bunch of two year olds. |
| Mrs. Roffey: |
Oh well, if they want to continue talking we can stop the parade now and
start it again at lunchtime. |
| Mrs. Wallwork: |
They just haven't learned that if they talk they will just lose part of their lunch
hour. |
According to Dr. Von Kauffmann, "This technique was easy to spot because the two teachers were not
actually looking at each other during the conversation (they were looking at the students assembled
on parade) and instead of using an appropriate volume for a conversation, they were using the
microphone to ensure everyone in the student centre heard their 'conversation.'" Whilst Dr.
Kauffmann may have found this technique interesting and innovative, our reporters just found it plain
funny.
THE CLASSROOM
The next school environment that we took the doctor to is inside various classrooms filled with the
'bad' students of the school. Whilst none of the techniques displayed by the teachers surprised us,
being hardened state school students and all, Dr. Kauffmann was again intruiged and amazed at the
number of psychological techniques employed and the harshness of some of them. Once again,
ridicule was a key factor in keeping the students in line, attempting to make them look like fools in front
of their peers. Such comments made by teachers who will not be named included:
- "Michael, if you want to be a freak, go join the circus!"
- "(after student threw pen out of window) Samuel, when you have chicken at your house, do
you just throw the bones out of the window?"
- "Stop this nonsense now! I am sick of your constant chattering! Day in and day out all that I hear
is your annoying, high pitched voice constantly talking and it's DRIVING ME INSANE! Oh no, the
voices are back! What's that? You want me to light a fire?"
Student names are modified to protect privacy...and to ensure we continue to
live
Of course they are only the more interesting quotes, but I'm sure you can imagine the put downs that
we left out, mainly comparing the students to babies, plankton, Eminem or other lower life forms. Dr.
Von Kauffmann commented that the teachers should not be using such methods as this will only
further the divide between teacher and student. We also noticed that such comments aimed at the
so-called 'class clowns' tended to have the opposite effect on the student, encouraging them to
continue to 'muck up' to get more attention.
Overall, our study with Dr. Von Kauffmann revealed some interesting techniques employed by
teachers, but also revealed weaknesses in their plans. Be sure so spot these techniques next time
you are on parade or in the classroom.
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