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WILKINSON ADMINISTRATION REVEALS STAR
WARS DEFENCE SYSTEM
Threat of arms race more real than ever
Tuesday 15 May 2001
The Wilkinson Administration today revealed at a press conference held in the Assembly Hall that it is
going to use the $3 million grant to build a Star Wars style defence system. The system, which may
be built as early as next term, will consist of 5 sites around the school to launch missiles designed to
shoot down weapons aimed at the school. The school announced that after the recent "tensions"
between itself and Kepnock SHS, such a plan is necessary to ensure the safety of it's students and
staff.
Ever since a Bundy High golf buggy was used in a drive-by
shooting at Kepnock, and since Bundaberg High Tuckshops Inc set up a franchise at Kepnock, the relationship
between the two schools have not been pretty, with a war of words happening between the two
school's principals. "He called me a poo-poo head so I called him a double poo-poo head, then he
called me a triple poo-poo head. Being quite angry at this stage, I called him a poo-poo head times a
million, but he called me a poo-poo head times infinity, and that's when things got ugly" said Mr.
Wilkinson in an exclusive post-press conference chat to The Unofficial Bundy High
Newsletter. "Since then, we have sent spies into their grounds, posing as students and they
have learned that Kepnock is planning to bomb us in the near future. I will not take that! This is war!"
Kepnock High refused to comment on the matter, but it is known to be training an army of its students
to counter the forces already studying at Bundy High. In the meantime, both schools are locked in an
arms race and are trying to gather alliances with other schools such as St. Lukes, Shalom, North and
Bundaberg Christian College. It is almost inevitable that these two forces will meet in the coming
weeks, and we will bring you any updates that we can.
(This is a sponsored advertisement)
WANTED: Students willing to die for the glory of their school. See Wilko.
h t t p : / / w w w . b u n d y h i g h n e w s . 4 t . c o m
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