 |
Home
Past Articles
Specials
Contact
Fan Mail
Polls
Disclaimer
|
STUDENTS FALL VICTIM TO ROBBERY SPREE
Foreign exchange students actually from Japanese Mafia
Sunday 28 July 2001
Over 20 Bundy High students awoke this morning to find something a little different - something
missing...all of their possessions! These poor souls were the latest victims of "Operation Trojan Horse" -
a secret operation being undertaken by the Japanese mafia.
The Japanese Mafia's calling card - the only thing left in victim's houses
For the past month, the Japanese mafia has been sending it's finest members at the art of deception
over to Australia to pose as teenaged exchange-students and then steal their host's possessions as
they sleep and last night the victims were the families of Bundy High students. According to Bundy
High's own police officer Senior Constable Mark Denny, "These agents are not the 14 year old
schoolgirls that they make themselves out to be....they are actually highly trained members of the
black arts, usually men in their 30s." He then proceeded to give our reporter photos of the agents in
their disguises in the hope that someone may recognise the culprits and turn them into the police.
'Oshi'
'Lin'
 'Michelle'
As tragic as these robberies may be, Principal Dave Wilkinson sees an upside to the incident, saying
to an Unofficial Bundy High Newsletter reporter, "Due to the low living standards that Bundy
High students have at home, the mafia wouldn't have gotten much from their efforts...probably less
than what it cost them to fly out here. They would have been better off going to Shalom or somewhere
like that where the families are loaded with cash. Heck, half our kids are living below the poverty line!"
Even though Mr. Wilkinson may see this as some consolation, Mr. Bruce Slater does not see the
bright side to the issue. Mr. Slater, who lives in George Street (literally) with his wife and three kids
have lost everything that they own in the robbery. "I don't know what those Japs would want with 5
hessian bags, 2 potatoes and an empty bottle of whiskey, but they stole 'em all", Mr. Slater said. "I just
can't beleive that sweet little Michelle would do that to us after the genorosity that we have shown to
her and all that." When told that Michelle was actually a man, Mr. Slater said "Oh, that would explain
the moustache then."
We will bring you any updates that may come in, but it seems that the agents have skipped the country
and are back in Japan.
(This is a sponsored advertisement)
LOST: One nipple ring. I lost this in the mosh-pit at the social and if anyone has it, could they
send it to 393 George Street. Please include attached nipple. Thanks - Johnno.
h t t p : / / w w w . b u n d y h i g h n e w s . 4 t . c o m
|
|
