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BRING ON THE LAWYERS!
Students sue administration....again
Monday 23 July 2001
Bundaberg State High Students are now fighting back after years of terrible seating conditions at the
weekly 'parade' sessions. Students have claimed to have fallen victim to DVT, or Deep Vein
Thrombosis. Usually seen on economy aircraft flights, students have contracted the syndrome due to
the cramped seating on parades.
"I believe they have a very stable case" stated one of the students lawyers, named suspiciously as
John Citizen. "We have very credible evidence that many students have fallen victim to this terrible,
life-threatening, sickening, disgusting, mutilating disease."
The Unofficial Bundy High Newsletter consulted its own medical expert on the disease. "A
blood clot is usually formed in the legs, and slowly makes its way to the brain. Once there, the brain
will subsequently explode, out of the victims ears, making a mess."
The students in question are asking for either $1,000,000 in compensation each, or first-class airline
seats for all students, with TV's in them. Although no official statement has been made, it is suspected
by some that the school will go with the latter option.
(This is a sponsored advertisement)
ATTENTION INTELLECTUALLY CHALLENGED Disappointed with report card grades? Don't
want to let mummy and daddy know that you are actually a failure? Well just go to Freddy's Fine
Forgeries and let Freddie "fix" the errors that school has obviously made!
Grade alterations: $1.20 each
Comment alterations: $3.60 each
Business hours: 4pm-5pm every thursday at Barber park toilets.
h t t p : / / w w w . b u n d y h i g h n e w s . 4 t . c o m
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