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TUCKSHOP UNDER SCRUTINY
Student discovers his nugget is actually a chicken head
Monday 9 July 2001
Bundaberg High Tuckshops Inc. is under high levels of scrutiny today after a Bundy High student
discovered something unusual in his lunch. The boy, Bubba 'Dagwood' Bueller, today went into the
tuckshop and ordered his regular treat of chicken nuggets, but this time there was a big difference -
one of the nuggets was a deep-fried chicken head.
Bubba 'Dagwood' Bueller displays the deep-fried chicken head
In an exclusive interview with The Unofficial Bundy High Newsletter, Bubba told his shocking
tale.
| Unofficial BSHS Newsletter: |
Bubba, could you describe to us what happened today at the tuckshop? |
| Bubba 'Dagwood' Bueller: |
Well, me 'n my friends Cleatus, Jim-Bob, Moonshine Marty and old toothless Joe
we all went o'er there to that there tuckshop to get us some foods to eat. Well I got inter the line as yer
do and bought me some o' them chickin nuggits which the tuckshop was a-sellin. Now when I gos to
eat that there chickin I was noticin somethin real strange about it so I said to my buddy there Jim-Bob
"HEY JIM-BOB! What do y'all think that there chickin nuggit is lookin like o'er there?" and he toldid me
that he thoughed it looked like a head of a chickin. |
| Unofficial BSHS Newsletter: |
And what was your reaction to that Mr. Bueller? |
| Bubba: |
Heck, call me Dagwood mister! Well first I weren't that danged worried y'know,
but then this here teacher, um, Missis Weir I'm thinkin her name is came up and startid makin a big
comotion saying "Oh my god, a chicken's head!" and then all them there people is lookin at me and
then you's comin over and askin me these questions and, well I guess that's where we are now. |
| Unofficial BSHS Newsletter: |
What do you plan on doing with this chicken head now? |
| Bubba: |
Aww, heck, I guess I'll feed it to one o' my smellhounds back at the trailer park. |
| Unofficial BSHS Newsletter: |
Thanks for the interview Bubba...um Dagwood. |
| Bubba: |
Can I say hi to my mom? HEY MOM, I'M ON TV! |
Whilst Mr. Bueller wasn't too concerned about the fact a chicken head had found it's way into his
lunch, the Health Inspector's office certainly is and will be sending out an officer around to inspect
the conditions there very soon. However, the CEO of Bundaberg High Tuckshops Inc., Mrs. Pam
Driver doesn't see what all the fuss is about, telling The Unofficial Bundy High Newsletter
"There was nothing wrong with the food we sell. The student in question bought a chicken nugget,
and that's what he got - a nugget of chicken. Now if that nugget happened to be the head, well so be it,
he is still getting exactly what he paid for." When asked if heads frequently appear in their chicken
nuggets, Mrs. Driver refused to comment and returned to her post inside the tuckshop.
Mr. Wilkinson, head of the Wilkinson Administration, refused to comment to The Unofficial Bundy
High Newsletter under legal advice. It is known that the school has a large share in Bundaberg
High Tuckshops Inc. and is concerned with the negative publicity that the incident is giving the
company. The school, however will keep it's stake in the company for the time being and will start a
new marketing campaign to minimise the damage this incident has caused. We will have more news
as it happens.
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h t t p : / / w w w . b u n d y h i g h n e w s . 4 t . c o m
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