 |
Home
Past Articles
Specials
Contact
Fan Mail
Polls
Disclaimer
|
MADMAN GATECRASHES SCHOOL SOCIAL WITH
BULLDOZER
Nobody injured, but hall in need of repairs
Tuesday 15 May 2001
Disaster struck at the Bundaberg High social this week, with a deranged old man first doing 'doughies'
on the oval with a bulldozer, then proceeding to crash through the northern wall of the famous Bundy
High Assembly Hall. Luckily noone was sitting there at the time, as most were under the stage smoking
and taking illicit drugs. After coming to halt inside the hall, an old man who looked in his eighties
turned off the bulldozer's roaring engine, stepped down and walked out the front door and out onto
Maryborough Street, where he then fell asleep. A crowd of onlookers watched the man until a stray
dog came up beside him and urinated on his face. They then went back inside to continue enjoying
the disco music.
A motive for the incident has not yet been found. It is considered that the man was an ex-employee of
Bundaberg State High from 1942 who was sacked and waited 59 years for his eventual revenge.
Damage to the hall is widespread. When the schools own handy man, Mr Fix It, saw the damage on
Wednesday morning, he was overheard saying to himself "Woah, someone certainly did a lot of
damage here. Nothing like a good challenge to start the day huh old chap? How about we get our
toolbox and get to work, if we finish this quickly there may be a cash bonus in order."
No one knows what happened to the old man. He was being watched by the deputies but they were
distracted by a gun battle in the hall. When they came back out he had disappeared. The school has
claimed ownership of the bulldozer. Possible new uses for it include pushing litter off the oval, moving
students along to class, and crushing the makers of this site once their identities are discovered.
(This is a sponsored advertisement)
FOR SALE: Millions of dollars worth of jewellery. Good condition, confiscated from students.
Range includes: golden teeth, stopwatches, braces, socks, wrist watches, bike chains, bike locks and
more. See Registrar for details.
h t t p : / / w w w . b u n d y h i g h n e w s . 4 t . c o m
|
|
